Amazon wierdness

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This is just a short post to share my confusion with the rest of the world and to make sure I don’t get beaten up by another author who happens to have the same name as me (it’s already bad enough that I share a name with a Viscount! I mean, you’d think a surname like mine would be relatively rare, wouldn’t you?)

Yesterday I took steps to set up my author page on Amazon. Mainly because I was feeling left out because all the other authors on Pirates and Swashbucklers had cool linky things on their names and I didn’t and I wanted to be in with the cool kids. This involved contacting Amazon and telling then that I was a contributor to said book which therefore, apparently, gave me the right to set up an author page. I think they have to establish that this is indeed the case (and I am sure the fine folks at Metahuman Press who are no doubt getting an e-mail about this will back me up on this claim 🙂 ) but they’ve let me set it up anyway on spec until such time as they can confirm or deny my claim. You can find said page here – D.A Lascelles Author Page

Now, here we have the issue. Said page now seems to count me as not only a contributor to one book but also the author of two other books:

The Road to Quality

Self-assessment for Business Excellence (Quality in Action)

Ok, it is possible that I had some strange fit a number of years ago during which I not only wrote but apparently published two manuals on Quality and Business Excellence, despite having no qualifications nor experience in such areas, and then had the memory completely wiped from my mind. It’s a very slim possibility (up there with Albert Einstein being the love child I conceived with Elizabeth I) but I suppose it is possible. However, the more likely explanation is that Amazon made some form of mistake and linked another writer’s work to mine by accident. I assume it is because the author of these two books shares some thing in common with my name (though in both cases no one is listed as the author…).
Anyway, hopefully very soon Amazon will sort this out and assign those books to their correct author and this will no longer be an issue. In the meantime, if said mystery author is out there I would like to say ‘Sorry! It was not my fault! Please don’t beat me up!’
At least this is not so big a mix up as the one John Scalzi encountered recently… 
Edited to add: Got an e-mail this morning from Amazon. In 3-5 days the books will be removed from my site and thus will I be safe from being beaten up. For the time being…

The traditions of my people

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I’m all for traditions – customs, rituals, holidays, celebrations, whatever. I love them and like to see them maintained. Events which happens every year and does so because ‘it’s always been that way’ touch me in a special place in my heart. So, I thought I would dedicate this blog post to one of the solemnest and most important traditions of my people.

The coming month will see my people fasting and praying, working hard to appease their gods. They will go without sleep, without food and spend long hours in angst filled contemplation on the human spirit. When this time of trial is over, they will emerge from it as better people – stronger and more capable of dealing with the every day stresses and strains. It is a sacred time, a testing time, a time of enlightenment.

What am I talking about? Why, NaNoWriMo of course… 🙂 Possibly the most important celebration of geekdom and social mediadom ever, eclipsing even ‘International Talk Like a Pirate Day‘ in it’s importance. I may be exaggerating here, of course. As you know, nothing could possibly eclipse Talk like a pirate day… Well, except maybe Talk Like a Dalek day….

National Novel Writing Month has been around for quite a few years. In fact, it was first run in 1999 when it had only 21 participants. This makes it, in internet terms, an ancient tradition which harkens back to the days BF (Before Facebook). It has since grown in size to 200,000 recorded writers taking part in 2010. The goal is simple: write 50,000 words and report them on the NaNoWriMo website between the 1st and the 30th of November. It is possibly the largest (well, certainly the most well known) writer productivity challenge in the world. It is a great way to learn discipline – to try to dedicate yourself to writing every day not just when you feel like it. This is a good thing and should be encouraged, which is why I consider NaNoWriMo to be an important tradition in Geekdom.

However, I have a confession to make. I am a heretic. I do not follow the ancient tradition of NaNoWriMo as a true follower of the Path of Geek should. I spurn my geekish ancestors and bring shame upon those who follow the true path with my progressive and non-orthodox ways. I have never signed up for NaNo nor even made any effort to increase my writing output in November. It is shameful, I know, but I do have a very good reason and it is all to do with timing.

I’m a teacher. As such I tend to get some wonderful summer holidays to luxuriate in and get lots of writing done. Six whole weeks of it, in fact. Sheer bliss. However, once September comes, the school term starts and things get a lot busier. OK, at the moment I am what we call a ‘gentleman of leisure’ (which is another name for scrounging layabout) and so am not expected to be working in a school at the moment. However, past experience has taught me that November (which lands just after the first half term holiday of the school year) is often a busy time for supply jobs to start rolling in and that means I have no guarantee of free time between now and December. So, rather than commit to NaNo and risk failing because a big job comes in that sucks up all my free time, I prefer to keep writing as normal and be there in spirit for those who are suffering the months of privation ahead.

Of course, I am also supporting in other ways – including doing at least one guest post in the coming month so that someone doing NaNo can free up more time for writing…

So, to those who are about to write, I salute you. I’ll be here on the touchline with the half time oranges and the mixed metaphors…

Another guest blog – feeling like a big, fat fraud

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In this post I talk about teaching and how (appropriately for Halloween) it can scare the hell out of you…

Feeling like a big, fat fraud

It links to writing as well, by the way. I’m making a subtle juxtaposition. Well, maybe not so subtle… Ok, a pretty blatant and obvious point.

It is, however, 100% guaranteed succubus free.

 

Guest postage – Horror

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In this post – Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself – I talk about how what scares us changes through history and through our lives. I mention Succubi because, well, I’m a man and I’m therefore always up for talking about hot, demonic women but don’t let that ruin your enjoyment of the rest of the post.

I have another review article lined up over this weekend as well for this site – epublish a book. This one will probably appear on Friday and will discuss the Urban Fantasy novel, Bloodlines by Skyla Dawn Cameron.

Anthology outcome

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Well, I had the response from the Absolute Writer’s anthology this morning. It was a rejection but an encouraging one. There were a lot of stories entered to this anthology (what do you expect when you open a writing contest on a writer’s forum? 🙂 ) and those that made it to the second round were all good enough to be included. However, there was only a limited space in the final anthology. Reading between the lines, I suspect that the stories they did select fit a common theme which can be used to market the final product better and mine didn’t quite fit that theme.

One thing I will say is that those stories that did make it must be phenomenally awesome and so, once it is printed and available for sale, I shall have no qualms about telling anyone who reads this blog to go out there and buy it.

I would like to formally and publicly thank all those involved in the anthology. This includes the public face of the editors (MacAllister Stone), the shadowy cabal of secret readers they employed to sift the many entries and, last but not least, the many hundreds of writers who sent in something to be considered. The endless thread of doom is still ongoing and may well end up taking over the entire universe by tea time tomorrow. It is full of enthusiasm and wonder and advice about continuing to submit stories to other markets. Though, for some reason, the dragon poetry seems to have dried up. Dare I open the floodgates and invite some to be posted here?

More guest blogs!

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This time I have been doing reviews. On this book review site: Publishing books is an adventure. It’s a review site specifically for self published books.

Chances are I will be doing regular reviews for this site (current plan is to do two a month) mostly of small press or self published ebooks. I’m mainly covering Fantasy and Urban Fantasy, I think. So, if you are a self published author with a Fantasy or Urban fantasy ebook out that you would like to see reviewed, feel free to get in touch.

A Mistress of suspense


This is just a short post to commend someone I think deserves an award for her ability to create tension and suspense. This person is MacAllister Stone, the overall owner and El Presidente for life of the Absolute Writers Water Cooler forum.

It all began with this thread in August –  The Great Absolute Write Spec Fiction Anthology! – in which members of the forums were invited to submit short stories to a speculative fiction anthology. MacAllister was announced as editor and submissions came in thick and fast. I sent in one submission which was Dances with Drums, my Waypoint based short story, and got a very quick rejection (comments were excellent world building, take a look at sentence level construction). The rules of the anthology allowed further submissions if you got rejected before the deadline so I dug out An Element of Desire – the vaguely erotic Urban Fantasyish piece I wrote because Erica Hayes dared me to do it on Twitter – and fired that off.

The response to that one was very positive (even though I feel it is a weaker story than Dances with Drums but then I am biased) and it made it through to the second round. The news at that point was that it now came down to space in the anthology – they had a word count limit and they were basically going to make every piece that made it to the second round fight it out, mano et mano, for the right to survive and take up some of that precious space.

And this is where the tension comes in… every person on the forums who got a piece through to the second round is now, as we speak, on tenterhooks. The announcement was made that anyone who gets an e-mail from the anthology is likely to have gotten one because they were rejected rather than accepted, then an announcement was made that some had been rejected and that more would be rejected soon and in the meantime the thread discussing the anthology has grown into a vast behemoth of a monster of a thread, spanning 60 pages and ranging in scope from serious topics like cover design of the anthology or what the submission process feels like to the bizarre trivia of dragon poetry.

Yes, you heard me. Poetry. About dragons. There was elf poetry too.

Oh, and someone threatened to bribe the editors with pints of Hobgoblin. This offended me because I did not think of that plan first.

Then the references to the Rocky Horror Picture show started and my brain decided that a holiday would be nice.

The latest news is that a final announcement will be made on Friday and with this there came the unearthly screech of nerves being tightened even more on the rack of anticipation. Every writer involved in this thing is nervous, dreading the inevitable rejection letter…

Now, my experience of other submissions to other places has been less tense than this. I write my piece, send it off and then forget about it until I get the rejection or acceptance. For some reason, possibly due to the constant reminders in the thread about it, this submission process is far more fraught.

This is why MacAllister Stone deserves some form of award for suspense and I vote that she is issued with one forthwith!

Being a Brit

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I feel I should warn you – this post is at risk of getting a little fanboyish. I think it is only fair that you get this warning because, as I am sure we are all aware, there are dangers inherent in second hand fanboyishness and it is my civic duty to ensure that you are saved from it.

Now that the ‘official government health warning’ is out of the way, I can get on with what I want to talk about today. Joss Whedon.

There, see, look what happened. The moment I say his name someone squeals and faints. It’s only relief I was not planning to talk about Nathan Fillion… Oh, bugger… Er, I’ll wait until the paramedics have sorted everyone out before I continue.

So, yes, Joss Whedon. I don’t think I need to bother with any introductions. I suspect that anyone with any claim to a semblance of geekdom is at least aware of the name of someone who is possibly one of the more influential people in geekery. He brought us Buffy the Vampire Slayer and revolutionised perceptions of horror while demonstrating that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dusku look really hot in leather pants. He brought us Firefly and showed us that you do indeed get cowboys in space and that Nathan Fillion looks hot in cowboy duds. He created Dr. Horrible and showed how success is possible even without the big business backing and that Nathan Fillion looks hot in skintight t-shirts. He brought us Dollhouse and demonstrated that Eliza Dusku looks really hot in leather pants. Oh, and there was some quite profound lesson about equality, slavery and not treating people like objects in there too.

So, needless to say, he has had an influence and there has been much said about his attitude to strong women (‘Why do I write strong female characters?’), his feminist ideals both positively (Joss Whedon on Feminism) and negatively (A Rapist’s view of the world), his ability to subvert stereotypes (Mal’s best moments)  and concerns that he intends to kill off all the much loved Avengers characters in the upcoming film (‘What to expect when expecting Joss Whedon’s Avengers’ – pay especial attention to the comment about a major death in act 3).

What I want to talk about is his attitude to the British. In particular the English. You see, from the point of view of us over here in this tiny little kingdom of ours, the US has a strange opinion of us. ‘English’ accents are either very RP (to the extent that you would believe everyone is related to the Queen and went to the same elocution teacher) or so cockney that ‘within the sound of Bow bells’ can be interpreted as being as far away from London as Northumberland. We are invariably the bad guys in most Hollywood portrayals. As Eddie Izzard does say on one of his stand up tours, we are the only ethnicity it is still OK to demonise. I often find myself cringing whenever I see a British character portrayed on screen by American writers and directors and while many great actors do their level best to keep the side up they often end up mired in the cliches.

Now, Joss Whedon is guilty of these crimes. I am not denying that. His English characters (Buffy’s Rupert Giles, Dollhouse’s Adelle De Witt , Firefly’s Badger among others) display a cornucopia of stereotypes from the aforementioned RP accent to a liking for tea. However, the portrayals often come across as more than the stereotypes. I am not sure why this is, it seems hard to analyse the reasons for it. Perhaps it is due to the great acting talent that is employed in these characters (because it cannot be denied that there is some talent here). Perhaps it is how that talent is directed or how well it is written. However it comes about, English characters in Joss Whedon productions seem to acquire a vitality and depth which is often lost in other portrayals of ‘Englishness’ in American productions. Rupert Giles, for example, is overtly the stiff upper lipped English academic stereotype but as you delve deeper into his character you see the tearaway teenager he once was, before he became a Watcher, and the dodgy demon summoning occultist he was at University. Then there is the fatherly affection he has for the Slayer which is very understated but still present in every scene Anthony Stewart Head has with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Some of these elements come out in occasional, teasing flashes and you come to realise that the ‘bumbling librarian’ is actually a very clever front based on expectations.

Adelle De Witt is similar. On first viewing she is cold, efficient and immoral; all played excellently by Olivia Williams. Willing to serve in a role that is actually a high class, glorified Madam in a very expensive brothel. There are hints she does this for wealth and power – the connections to the Rossum corporation clearly guaranteeing both. However, as Dollhouse progresses, we see cracks in the Ice Maiden facade. They first appear in the first season episode Echoes (episode 7) when a drug causes all characters involved to reveal snippets of their secret inner selves and from that point on more and more of the ‘inner De Witt’ comes to the fore. As the series progresses we see less of the ice maiden, a common stereotype for strong English women, and more of the concerned mother who cares for all under her charge. As season two progresses, you see her face her demons and choose a side in the upcoming conflict between Rossum and the rest of the world, finally picking a side based on moral grounds rather than profit. In De Witt’s case, I believe it is a case of having to repress her natural instincts in favour of succeeding in a career and then facing a situation that even she cannot ignore.

Perhaps what we have here is a combination of Whedon’s desire to approach genre stereotypes and subvert them – showing the viewer an unexpected outcome to the one they expect – combined with an ability of skilled actors and writers to really get under the skin of these characters and  give them a great deal of depth. It applies to all the characters portrayed in the Whedonverse but I think it is especially relevant to his English characters because it is so rare to see them portrayed as being more than the stereotype. Also because, you know, I’m English and I like to see some role models of our greatest stereotypes done well.

And note, not once did I mention that his greatest British creation, the Cockerny Vampire Spike, is played by an American… 🙂

I am also wondering what we might expect in The Avengers. Will we get some interesting, British characters added to the Marvel universe?

Outage outrage!!!!

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Hmmm…. Twitter seems to be down at the moment, which is annoying as I was planning to post my word count for today. So, instead, I will post it here and maybe transfer it across later by the magic of ‘cut and paste’

Today’s word count is 468 words. May write more later but taking a break #amwriting.

There. Now you know that I am not just sitting here slacking off and just randomly surfing. I am actually doing work. I am, of course, also sitting here randomly surfing because I learnt the trick of having more than one window open many years ago but at least I am not *just* doing that.